Summary of How to Say Nothing in 500 Words

Jason Lowbridge

Professor Jerome M. McKeever

English 1010

17 October 2012

Word Count 559

 

In 1956, Professor Paul McHenry Roberts wrote an essay entitled How to Say Nothing in 500 Words. Professor Roberts states that although the subjects or topics may change through the years, “the principles of good writing should remain constant” (Roberts). He lays out a number of important recommendations and suggestions to assist a writer in successfully developing an essay.

Professor Roberts suggests that a writer avoid writing what everybody expects them to write about. Take the road less traveled and choose a path that the reader would not expect. Additionally, he recommends that the writer chooses the unpopular side of the argument. He believes that by doing this, the piece may actually be easier to write.

Further, Professor Roberts proposes that the writer not just lay out the facts, but give examples. Facts, or the obvious, may be dull and boring to the reader, giving examples may enlighten the reader and make the point stronger. Also boring to the reader are abstractions. Professor Roberts warns the writer to avoid abstraction. Like dull and boring facts, generalities will also do nothing more than bore the reader. After the writer states a fact, he should follow it up with example and really illustrate the facts. Illustration will strengthen the writers facts.

Professor Roberts wants the writer to remove the extra words that are in the paper. He refers to this as padding a paper. By this he means that a writer is usually trying to put in as much as he can to reach that 500 word limit assigned to him by his professor. In attempting to reach the word limit, the writer is adding extra words without adding any extra content. Professor Roberts suggests that to meet the 500 words, without padding sentences, just add that extra content. State the facts and then prove them. He believes that by doing this, the writer will more than meet the word limit.

Professor Roberts suggests that the writer just say it like it is. Avoid phrases like “In my opinion” or ‘the way I see it.” Call it like it is. In addition, Professor Roberts wants writers to avoid what he calls “pat expressions” as often as possible (Roberts). He claims that there is no way to avoid them all together, but the writer should really limit their use. Pat expressions are phrases like “all things being equal.”  

Concluding his suggestions and recommendations, Professor Roberts explains the difference and the importance of using colored, colorful and colorless words. By using colored words he suggests that the writer be careful to use the right words in the right place. By putting them in the right place, colorful words can create a picture or tell a story. They are meant to bring about emotion. Similarly, colorful words can also provoke an emotion response. Colorful words are those words that can have either a bad or good meaning. Finally, Professor Roberts talks of colorless words, which he believes are words that give a writer the hardest time. Colorless words are stagnate words that offer very little to a description. They are basically meaningless words and lack any potency in a paper.

Works Cited

Roberts, Paul McHenry. How to Say Nothing in 500 Words. 1956. Print.

Lesson 2 The Neighborhood Monster

Jason Lowbridge

Professor Jerome M. McKeever

English 1010

28 September 2012

Word Count 537

 

            It was 6 a.m. and still no paper. He liked to read the sports section by 6 a.m. He figured the local newspaper must have hired yet another paperboy. Mr. Diflorio got out of his dilapidated lawn chair with vigor and impatience. The chair was haggard and the once vibrant colors and patterns had faded. They seemed to match Mr. Diflorio, who was now anxiously waiting for his paper. His mangled fingers rolled up into a fist as he shuffled back and forth on his porch. “Where the hell is my paper? Damn those kids, they are so irresponsible.” He promised himself that this young man was going to get an earful. He knew the local kids referred to him as the neighborhood monster, but he just did not care.

            Sure enough, Mr. Diflorio was right, here came the new kid. In a voice that would have made Clint Eastwood proud, came a deep groveling drawl. “Boy you’re late! This might as well been yesterday’s paper!” Don’t they teach you how to tell time in school, dumb ass? You better not have taken my sports section.” Before the boy had time to react or respond, Mr. Diflorio had snatched the paper from the paperboy’s quivering hand.

            It was 5:45 a.m. the next day, and Mr. Diflorio had his jaw locked and was mumbling to himself. He knew his paper would not be on time. He was preparing himself for a letdown. Just a speed bump of letdowns in a life that went wrong long ago. It may have sounded silly to some, but that newspaper was all he had to look forward to each and every day. Then, much to his surprise, here came the young paperboy. “Well look at that, he’s early” Mr. Diflorio stated in amazement. What happened next, Mr. Diflorio was ill prepared for. Not only did the paper arrive early, but the young man brought him his Sports Illustrated. Apparently he remembered the reference to the sports section. He was surprised and stunned by the young boy’s gesture.

            The next day, Mr. Diflorio was waiting anxiously for the paper and the boy. He was skeptical that the boy would be on time. He doubted that the good will gesture would last. He prepared himself for disappointment. Again, at 5:45 a.m. the boy came bouncing up the driveway. Mr. Diflorio was confused. His head was ready to process the old lingering anger caused by previous paperboys, but his heart came into the equation. There was something about this boy that Mr. Diflorio really liked. As the boy marched up the steps, paper in hand, he said “Mr. Diflorio, here is your paper. My Grandfather said you were one heck of a player for the Colts. He said you won championships and you were tough as nails.”

            As the days grew into weeks and weeks grew into months, the legend of Mr. Diflorio as the neighborhood monster faded. Mr. Diflorio genuinely liked the young boy and their relationship turned to friendship. They shared many stories about football and family, life lessons and experiences. Mr. Diflorio’s heart and attitude seemed to soften.